And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
Redeem this text for a blowjob
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
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