I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
