So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
The feeling are messing with the penis
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
