Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
