I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Randomize
