We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
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