i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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