Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Randomize
