you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
