I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Randomize
