So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
Randomize
