found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
