I think I just saw someone hide a body.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
In other news, I just burned my penis
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Randomize
