New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
