I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
