just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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