Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Randomize
