We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
