Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
He shit in the fireplace
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
