I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
He is an equal opportunity slut.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
