Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
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