Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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