I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
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