The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Randomize
