She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Randomize