i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
