smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
