me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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