but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
