Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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