After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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