Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(503): View more from Oregon

That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour

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(404): View more from Georgia

Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags

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(719): View more from Colorado

If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.

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(503): View more from Oregon

Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.

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(208): View more from Idaho

She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"

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(443): View more from Maryland

where are you?

(240): View more from Maryland

Hypothermia

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(515): View more from Iowa

The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.

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(248): View more from Michigan

Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.

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(306): View more from Saskatchewan

I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.

(780): View more from Alberta, CA

Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?

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