Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
