THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Randomize
