Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Is Oprah even human
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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