too bad you live with your parents still
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
