turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Randomize
