I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Randomize