He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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