how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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