sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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