he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
