the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
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