they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
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