Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
