Where is the hickey?
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Randomize
