found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
