By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize
