Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
be right there i have to get my cape
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
