There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
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