butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Randomize
