Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
