No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
try to milk me bitch
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
