if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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