Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
His hands were made for my vagina.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I think pants incapable of making pants work
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
