so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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