Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
