Someone shit on the floor
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
