my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
