We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
