Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
