He asked me if I "almost moaned"
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
