My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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